I don't know what to do.

[Gorath]

No one seems to believe me, that this actually happened. I'm being completely honest. You see, I'm a sixteen year old guy (soon to be seventeen) who is into S&M. If you don't know what that is, you probably shouldn't look it up. If you do know what it is, then you know that there are subs, and there are dominants. I am a sub, and enjoy being ordered around and humiliated by women. Don't ask why, because I couldn't give you an answer. Anyhow, I go on these websites and lie about my age (saying I'm 1 and then look for dommes to boss me around. Anyhow, I was on webcam with this one sexy domme, and she told me to get my mom's underwear. I was going to do it, but my mom was in her room, so I went into my sister's room and got hers, figuring the domme wouldn't know the difference. The domme then told me to put them in my mouth, which I did. Anyway, the main point of this is: I put my sister's underwear in my mouth and truly regret it. I want to kill myself. This was five weeks ago, and I still can't get over it. What the hell should I do?

[Danni_jane]

Hi there
I understand what you are into but there is nothing to be ashamed about on here.. Like I have said to may people we on this website are not going to judge you. You were proberly just curious about these website and you went t have a look as you get a thrill from being bossed about. Do not let this take control of your life. Ok you put your sisters underwear in your mouth and you regrete it. We all make mistakes in life and we have to live with them for a long time. I have made so many mistakes and I have got into knee deep shit over them. You have to learn to get over them other wise you will this will take over your life and you will never move on. Im sure people on those sites have dont a hell of alot worse and its proberly messed them up to. You just have to think to yourself ' Ok I enjoy these sites and I get a complete thrill but there are limitations' next time you go on these sites and someone tells you to do something you make the point of being uncomfortable with it all. Yes you may get abuse so what all they can do is shout verbal abuse, have you heard the saying ' Sticks and stones will break my bones but words will never hurt me' you may think that I am being harsh but you have to be cruel to be kind. Dont let this get you down please dont. Just try the best you can of blocking it out of your head completly and avoid these sites for a while until you are ove the trauma. It may take a while but now you know your limit.

Good Luck

[GuitarGirl]

Hey Gorath,

I wouldn't worry too much about this. I really don't think it is that big of a deal at all, especially nothing to make you consider suicide. The worst thing you did was violate your sisters privacy by going into her room and taking her things. That you should never do without permission. Besides that I would not tell your sister about it if she does not know, she will only be angry with you for violating her privacy and probably grossed out too (I would be if my brother did that) and it won't help anyway. Just don't do it again and stay out of her belongings.

The act itself though is no big deal. I hope the underwear was clean, but so what your a kid exploring yourself it's not a big deal. You will get over it and hopefully you won't do it again.