Needs help with my thoughts or clearing my head.

[ryan is lost]

I cant even really explain it...I know what it is I just dont know how to deal with it...

it's keeping me up at night now....i cant go to sleep at any time before 5:30am. i go to work every day on usually less than 2 hours of sleep, and i try to avoid it on weekends.

i know i'm a lonely person and it bothers me greatly but im not afraid/ashamed of it. as of late it's just been almost overwhelming as im sitting here at 5:14 am fighting back tears...i do this on the regular now...

not being able to sleep gives me plenty of time to sit here and dwell in all of my problems which obviously just makes things worse.

first off i'm 22 and an only child so i know where that put my in the first place. I can count my friends on one hand, and most of them are actually cousins. i've had girls in my life but never one to the point i could call a girlfriend. As you can guess, that leaves me a virgin. maybe deep down thats the core problem(some have said this...) but i dont sit here and dwell on that specifically.


i dont like the way my life is, and im not here for help with that. i'm trying to bring my life around to make myself happy and i know it's a slow process. I just have trouble dealing with my thoughts at night, especially when im alone.

i've never chosen to deal with these emotions so this is new. I just feel that at 22, its kind of late and makes me feel kind of cornered. i know where my life is and what i want, i just need some feedback on dealing with emotions. i've been a lonely person for a long time, and i used to block people and emotions out in order to avoid showing it to people, or feeling poorly about myself. i feel that doing that has made things worse too.

once i get past feeling like shit for myself and can climb into bed, my heart starts racing. Every intrusive thought just comes right back and im wide awake again. (why else am I posting at 6:16am?)

need to start sleeping, or stop feeling this way, so any thoughts anyone could share is appreciated. your reading this is appreciated enough

[Glen]

Ryan, i was in the same boat as you. I went into and talked to someone, they really helped me a lot taught me some breathing techniques to help when i would get stressed out. I can share this with you, you hold your breath in as long as you can then exhale slowly and think to your self everything is ok when your exhaling - Keep repeating that till you feel better

Still i found that helped but then i got put on medication and my worries pretty much dropped and went away. I rarely get anxious any more ( more depressed)

But i can relate to you, i most of everything you said there is happening to me also. But when a big change occurs then i do get anxious

[mybodymyself]

Ryan,

Sorry, to read about what you are going though now. You have come to the right place on the net for this. At the same time I recommend that you speak up to people whom you are close to and etc. About this problem and they help you. Even it includes getting professional help for this. If that doesn't work I would seek help out besides here as well. As for me I can sorta relate to what you are going though because I have though this. Not one time, but a other times as well.

[Carmichael]

Time to learn about mediTation...

Any meditation type that focuses on 'being in the present'...

It's a real shame most therapists won't tell you that, but meditation (of the type described above) will solve that problem for you (if practiced gently).

[Fey]

First off I would really recommend working on getting a decent amount of sleep. Seriously, a good night's sleep does wonders for your mind. Have you been to a doctor about not sleeping? I can recommend things to help you sleep.

As others have said... breathe. And write.

[Timothy]

Hello Ryan
I have a few suggestions as to what you can do to improve your situation. What you have describes is the symptoms of at least 3 things.
1. Depression
2. Anxiety
3. Insomnia

All three of these illnesses link to one another. There are a few things that you can do to try and improve your situation. Firstly I would think about going to see a doctor and a psychologist. You need to be on anti-depressants and possible sleeping pills. The psychologist may also be able to give you some techniques to slow down your heart and mind so that you can lie in peace as you try to get to sleep. An example of such a technique is closing your eyes and trying as hard as you can to hear 10 distinct individual sounds.

You really need to fix your sleeping habits to help fix your other problems, they are all intertwined. As for being a virgin, 22 is really nothing what so ever, there are hundreds of thousands of people who are virgins at the age of 22+. Don't forget it is apart of some religions to remain a virgin until marriage. There is still a lot of potential for you to lose your virginity.

There is really nothing that you should feel ashamed about. You have medical reasons for the way you are right now, and once you sort them out, you have the potential to live the life you want. The world is at your feet, you just need to see it

I hope things get better for you and you see someone about your medical issues, you really shouldn't being feeling so down.

[Carmichael]

Keep in mind that MediTaTion has been scientifically shown to change brain chemistry.

So even a 'medical' problem can be dealt with on many levels...

Also (very important) only a Doctor should say "you need sleeping pills"...

We should not be prescribing medications on an internet forum.

Also sleeping pills can cause lots of problems if misused-- only a Doctor can safely prescribe them.

[Timothy]

Keep in mind that MediTaTion has been scientifically shown to change brain chemistry.

So even a 'medical' problem can be dealt with on many levels...

Meditation is actually a really good suggestion, but should be used along side medication. This is only because it can take a long time to master meditation and learn how to use it appropriately. It really does sound as if he is suffering from insomnia along with depression and anxiety which can be easily treated with sleeping pills.

[Timothy]

Keep in mind that MediTaTion has been scientifically shown to change brain chemistry.

So even a 'medical' problem can be dealt with on many levels...

Meditation is actually a really good suggestion, but should be used along side medication. This is only because it can take a long time to master meditation and learn how to use it appropriately. It really does sound as if he is suffering from insomnia along with depression and anxiety which can be easily treated with sleeping pills.

[Carmichael]

MediCation is a not a "should".

You don't always need it, just because you have anxiety.

I have been 95% recovered from OCD for 21 years and 85% recovered from Social Anxiety for 7 years without any mediCation.

I was able to recover using mediTation and support groups (and the 12 Steps).

It is not fair, or responsible, so say "You need mediCation." Only a Doctor should say that, and in particular, an internet forum is not a place to prescribe mediCation.

You don't (at all) automatically need mediCation just because you have an anxiety problem.

**I know many people who have overcome anxiety without meds--

(I am not anti-mediCation, but the idea that you automatically need it just because you have an anxiety problem isn't true at all).

[Timothy]

I apologise if it seems i was forcing the idea of medication upon him. Meditation does sound like a good idea but the insomnia is an issue that really should be taken care of quickly because it is increasing the severity of his anxiety and depression. If you haven't mastered mediation it can take a long time to do so, you yourself have dedicated years to doing so and he seems to need a quicker solution to the lack of sleep. I don't claim to be a doctor and don't mean to sound as if i am giving medical advice, i am just sharing my opinion as to what i believe he should consider as options.