FRIENDS

[Britt]

Has anyone else had problems with friends?? Like keeping a relationship going? For most of my life I have felt a bit 'left out' ..... it's hard to explain, but I always felt that other people were always 'in the know' and that I wasn't aware of what was going on. It isn't my intelligence that's the problem here ...... I just don't get it. Over the years too I have had fallings out with people, and for a long time couldn't maintain a friendship - I found them too difficult, or I was too difficult (high maintenance!!). Can anyone else relate to this? Just for the record though, I have a fantastic (for the most part!) husband, to whom I have been married for 23 years. And two best girl friends (known them for 17 years each). But there sure have been a lot of people along the way!

[Fey]

My partner has had some horrible experiences with friends and relationships in the past when things went wrong for him. As soon as he became depressed most of his friends just decided he was too much effort, and his fiance didn't know how to handle him and left.

I too have found it difficult to maintain friendships and relationships when I'm going through bad times. I become a bit of a pain in the ass really, and there are only a few people who love me enough to see through those times and know that I'm not being a dick on purpose.

The people who don't stick around with you even though you may be a bit difficult at times because you are unwell are not horrible people. From what I've seen it takes strong people to stick around, so even though you've only got a couple of close friends now that's still a big deal. Keep a good hold of them =)

[Britt]

Yep - I'm holding on with both arms! i guess i have to remember that depression is a disease and it is ugly and difficult to be around. When you are in the actual situation it is hard to view it from the outside. I have made rash, hasty, wrong decisions all through my life - impulsivenss has been a problem for me. I wish I could take heaps of things back but I can't. My main worry now is my reputation - what do people know - what do people think??

[emeraldiris]

I can definitly relate. Sometimes friends are great... they are the only things that keep me going. Other times though, they can be the ones that make it most hard to live. In those times, their own problems make me upset either to hear it and feel empathy, or that I can't properly help them since I'm battling with my own stuff. Then there's also the problems of those who are happy, and saying the responses you know you should to congratulate them, but don't really feel the happiness (cause so down myself) and that is also draining. Just saying words you don't mean cause you should and feeling bad that you can't feel them. It's a hard situation definitly.

I can relate to not being in the know! I'm glad I'm not the only one that feels this way. I guess at end of day, can only hope that if it's important, would be told eventually.

I guess at end of day, can only be honest with those about what we are battling with, and hope they surprise us with their understanding. What surprised me was once I was diagnosed, finding so many others going through the same thing. That has always been the biggest support.

[Timothy]

I have always had a problem keeping friends due to the fact i was always in moods that made me unable to tolerate them. Being young, the people my age are still very immature and it can be hard sometimes to feel as if you relate. I did have one best friend two years ago but he moved to Adelaide, which is where i plan to move at the end of this year. Friends will always come and go but if you can keep at least one good one for most of your life, then it really doesn't matter.

[MonkeyBone]

Ths is actually a reason I decided to sign up here. I just recently had a bout where I angered most of my friends, moved to a different city, lost my girlfriend, moved back, and basically acted like a huge jackass to almost everyone I knew, and alot of people I didn't know either, I think may have even evaded a planned ambush on me in the city I moved too.

Now I know about two people who are not mad at me, my now ex girlfriend left me for her ex, and I basically have to start my life over from scratch. Such is life I suppose! Good to know there are other people out there who have frendship troubles though.

[judelee]

Me too, I've never been able to keep friends, I don't like talking to people unless I have too, I can't find people I can relate to except here, good to know I am not alone in this. I hate myself sometimes, and today my boss repeated back something I said to another collegue (when I was in a psycho angry mood) not nice things, when he and another manager were offsite. We think there is a bug in the room and are now so freaked out about it. The managers know what we said about them and about other people we work with... great!!!! hope I can survive christmas...Hate myself even more now, for the person I have become.

[LisaWelch]

When I am going through a really bad time with depression, I shut everybody out. I feel ashamed and even when I do feel better, it takes a while to call them because of my prior behavior. Luckily for me I have two really wonderful friends who understand this and let me get back to myself and call when I am ready. I have had other friends who drifted away when I became really brainsick. They didn't understand, or didn't want to try to understand. Also fortunately, I have a super supportive husband who protects me and quietly understands my behavior and lets me talk about it when I feel the need. I also have an 18 year old daughter who is diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder and panic attacks, so she really understands when I'm having an episode. Having your husband being supportive of you is something a lot of people don't have (or wife), and having 2 true friends is a lot.

[braveheart]

Hi, i'm new here and i found this thread. Makes me feel horrible for avoiding my friend. She suffers from severe depression and sometimes I don't know how to handle her anymore. She keeps telling me the same sad stories over and over, crying over the phone. She sleeps the whole day and spend the night browsing the internet. I don't answer her calls anymore because it just makes me sad. Any suggestion? She is married with one kid and her depression roots from her unstable marriage.

[turquoise]

Hi there I know what you mean I just feel so left out. Its like people around me will say are you coming to the party or what have you. They kind of leave me out. I just feel its because that I am, ugly I always feel like theres something wrong with me and other people can see through that. I dunno. I feel like at least the very friends that I have at least they are true friends and they arent just superficial friends. My few friends that I do have are people who I would share everything with! I cant be bothered with people who just come and go.
Dont know if this helps. Butr some so called aquaintances are just not worth the time really