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Ive been having problems sleeping so the doc added another pill for anxiety. After I take my pills at night, which are supposed to knock me out, I'm still awake at three am. Now with the new med I feel like I cant get up and I'm dragging all day.

Went to my doctors apt today and he added a new medicine. Im already on lithium, haldol and cogentin. Today he raised the dose of my haldol and put me on vistaril (an antihistamine) for anxiety. Got another apt in a week hopefully things will start getting better.

"I was walking along a path with two friends, the sun was setting, suddenly the sky turned blood red. I paused, feeling exhausted, and leaned on the fence, there was blood and tongues of fire above the blue-black fjord and the city, my friends walked on and I stood there trembling with anxiety — and I sensed an infinite scream passing through nature. ” One theory advanced to account for the reddish sky in the background is that Munch had observed a powerful volcanic eruption of Krakatoa ...

Up all night I tried lying down around midnight and was still awake at 5:00am. I just went ahead and got up. Either the haldol is not working or it isn't in my system yet. On the plus side the paranoia wasn't as bad last night.

Its 11:30 pm and even after my meds I'm wide awake. My bird is in the other room yelling "go to bed" and "goodnight bad bird". He knows its time for bed even if my brain doesn't.

How can I be useful, of what service can I be? There is something inside me, what can it be?
Vincent Van Gogh