Fey

I kinda knew I'd hit this point but I guess I just wanted too badly not to have to think about it that it was a bit of a surprise.

I love my partner. Part of the reason that I love him is because he shares many of the same struggles as me. We've both dealt on and off with depression for years. He's very good at understanding when I hit lows for no reason. It's reassuring to be with someone who doesn't think I'm just crazy.

But at the same time I'm struggling to deal with the things he goes through. I feel often that he spends so much time in his head dealing with things that I'm not even really seeing him. Or that he's so occupied with the past that trying to communicate with him at present is just pointless.

He's 11 years my senior also, which for the most part isn't a problem but many of his issues stem from a previous long term relationship that went very badly and I just have no ability to understand where he's coming from.

I just spat it out and told him today. It's really frustrating that often when I want to hang out he's all in his head processing something from his past and doesn't want to hang out with anyone. Then he gets sad when I spend all day in bed with a migraine when he wanted to do something with me.

I'm at a loss. It's driving me nuts. I love him to absolute pieces but right now I just can't handle him. I recently lost the first decent full time job I ever had because I hit a really big low depression wise and have been dealing with all the repercussions of that and am still not on my feet. I'm sorting out my own head. What am I supposed to do with him?