I am already having a bad day. My anxiety level is through the roof. I am feeling sick to my stomach and im shaky. I have been taken off my lithium and haldol so I can start trying to get pregnate and Im afraid that might be the reason Im feeling this way. I cant figure out if I should wait it out or call my doc.
We started the incimination process the 15th. We try again tonight and Saturday. I am nervious and excited all at the same time. I wonder how I would feel if I was doing this same thing and not have to deal with being BP.
Im off my lithium and only on 40mgs of celexa. We start trying to get pregnate in 2 weeks im so excited.
My next appt I will be taken off my meds. I think things will be ok though. Ive been put on abilify and I can stay on it while pregnate. Anyone know anything about abilify?
We are going to start trying next month for the baby. Im a little worried now because i will be off most of my meds for about a year. I dont know how thats going to go. The last time I was off them I was put in the hospital for a week. All I can do is hope for the best.
We have decided to try and get pregnate. The doc has already started changing my meds and Im so excited. Ive been doing well and things are great in our relationship. Wish me luck.
My depression is not as bad and my relationship is going well. I thought now would be the time to start exercising. Start small I thought with just a walk. I couldnt handle it first of all there where entirerly to many people then I couldnt even make it half way around the park.
so my family seems to think nothing was wrong with me or what im going through is nothing, they joked about it said its nothing to me, and i could die at any moment, sometimes the urge to just kill myself is so overwhelming, the only reason im here is because of prayer because of the peace that comes with it and my spirituality, i hate everyone around me , my friends my family all i see is their negativity , its like being surrounded by dysfunction all the time it makes you sick, i feel sick, i ...
today I felt loved.
i love my friends today we had some good laughs it was great , we played games and talked and messed with other friends, i am grateful for my friendships, they let me get away from my head too much thinking does you in you know. i went somewhere by myself but it was very brief but i felt okay i didnt even need my music it was great tomorrow im gonna go somewhere by myself but longer i feel good , my anxiety felt under wraps it was rare and wonderful , it was like being free , well my ...
i still cant go places alone , my anxiety gets the best of me it sucks , i cant believe i cant do something so basic. I feel ashamed.
my stomach is killing me, i feel sick. I feel lonely its night its 3:16. i feel awake but ive been getting these headaches. i feel a little restless. my depressions been odd, every time i wake up i feel like dying but the day is fine then at night i get lonely, but that makes sense. ive been going out a lot so thats good my paranoia's been basically gone, im getting better at dealing with the stares , sometimes i wish i were numb, but i remember when i was younger i was and it was just as bad if ...
today was a nice day, i hung out with my friends bought a birthday gift for a friend, my friend even bought me a toy ball, it was nice. i was tired so i took a nap but like always i wake up with this feeling of deep sadness it kinda makes me want to die, i immediately feel this when i wake up as soon as i open my eyes its there , which sucks because i have a great life, its always been this way i dont know why , i wish it would end.
i haven't slept in a day , i feel very energetic, i feel content, life is okay , i feel bored at this moment, i am grateful for life, i love the sun and the air and the sky, i am alive. i hate when my brain feels like mush, and sometimes i feel like im slipping in between reality and not reality its the most weirdest scariest feeling ever , i am grateful to be fine at this moment but that out of control mind thing happened a couple days ago, it was scary. i am grateful for now i am alive i am here ...
Accept and you become whole, Bend and you straighten, Empty and you fill, Decay and you renew, Want and you acquire, Fulfill and you become confused. The sage accepts the world As the world accepts the Way; He does not display himself, so is clearly seen, Does not justify himself, so is recognized, Does not boast, so is credited, Does not pride himself, so endures, Does not contend, so none contend against him. ...
i kinda feel like killing myself like just ending it all i wont but i really feel like it. life is good right now but i still feel like shit. this is horrible how do i deal with this how can i make this go away i hate knowing that it will end only to surprise me again, its terrible. i feel awful. i want to die.
its lonely i feel sad
i went out with my friends today and they notice how often i get stares( i know its because of my body i have a lot of curves i know its normal) and it makes me feel very uncomfortable, i know they stare because of my body but my mind goes into panic mode and i get all jumpy and sweaty and sometimes the paranoia sets in about danger and murder, i just want to be able to go out and feel okay. i was also discussing my past and i never realized how often people touch me like out of playfulness and ...
every time I turn arond there is somthig I cant take with lithium.
im grateful for life, for family, for my friends, for joy for peace, im grateful for god and im grateful to be alive. i am happy.
Never done a blog before. I doubt anyone will pay much attention to it, but that's fine really. I don't think I have ever really been happy. But it feels like every year something happens to make it worse. Some of things that happened seem silly now. Girls, various trivial failures, and and general teenage angst had always kept me from feeling I was living the life I wanted. But as I grew up things got a lot worse, and beyond feeling unhappy I began to feel useless and hopeless that things could ...
I have almost delt with a year of depression. i have been taking depakote for sometime now and no matter how much they increased the dose it has not seemed to help with the depression. I am now back on lithium and things seem to be improving. its just frustrtating that someone can s[pend that much time on a medication that is not working without the doc changing it.
i was thinking about how i feel uncomfortable around people sometimes , well lately its been better but then again i took the easy way out im staying at a place were theres less people lol, but i do feel more comfortable, anyways i noticed men make me feel uncomfortable, like guys my age im fine with i feel safe but with strangers and just men outside i feel uncomfortable, i do communicate with older men sometimes like the ones that approach me but l if im in the bus and theres men ill feel uncomfortable ...
Updated June 24th, 2011 at 7:57 PM by anonymous123
Well, here's my first blog. I'm sitting in front of my closet typing this. Believe it or not, I have every intention to get up and willingly go to a party. Or rather, I HAD every intention to go to it. I even got excited, until a short while ago. It's way too much. A sixteenth birthday party? Holy crap. I'm not going to make it through. An hour until it starts, and I'm just sitting, surrounded by various, ridiculous items of clothing. They're all terrible. What was I thinking when ...
i have been doing well since i started taking my medicines celexa and abilify, my paranoia has been almost gone. i was paranoid about people being in my head and people trying to kill me and demons and stuff. i dont really like being surrounded by people i get paranoid that theres a focus on me, and sometimes people fuel that paranoia without knowing it like at school there was a teacher who i never knew about and he recognized me and it freaked me out a bit or the other day a stranger at the doctors ...
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