Vic

i'm supposed to have a completed draft of of my thesis handed in for review by the end of the week and i'm (surprise) way behind. I keep getting sick. this stupid cold rainy weather won't let up, and i can't shake this head cold. i get a few days of feeling almost better, and then it comes back. yesterday i spent more time in bed than planned, and today i really should have stayed home from work but i really need the hours. now i'm back home and feeling rotten. i need to rest, i know. but every hour of rest is one not spent on getting the thesis done.

when i'm sick like this it's like my mental defenses are down, too. things i do to stay mentally well are harder to keep up with, like going to the gym or doing yoga -- try doing deep breathing through the nose when congested, or if inhaling results in sneezes -- and the time spent resting is also times for the anxiety to creep in... it's just a bad spiral.

my profs have already been incredibly accommodating and there's really no way to get extensions this late in the game, for this big a project. i think i just need to accept that i'm going to be submitting a paper that's going to be reviewed and found sorely lacking, definitely needing major revision. and maybe by that point the weather will be better, i'll be healthier, and my overly-sensitive ego won't be too crushed by the critiques on my work.