Life cant get any worst.

[Im_doomed]

I've finally reached my limit. I'm so done with him. He's doing everything in his power to go see her. The worst part is that she is his freaken sister n law. Its freaken disgusting! It hurts me so much to know the truth but he doesnt care about my feelings. We sleep seperately now. He's on the couch & I take the bed. He makes up all these excuses & denies everything. When he's around her I dont exist. So does my daughter. I'm so stupid for putting up with this shit for 2 freaken years. He can not stop. We argued about it numerous times. I feel like his feelings for her just increases. I dont know what the hell I'm still hanging around for. For the day he'll stop & love me??? HA, IMPOSSIBLE! I'm just plain stupid. I can see everything he does clearly but still put up with him. I hate him to death. I hate my life! I guess I'm just afraid to face life alone. Being a single mom and all. I've been dependent for too long that I just cant seem to find a freaken job anymore. My life always sucked! Now its HELL! My plan was to find a job & leave but no luck. Nothing is right in my freaken boring life but depression. Hmmmm....So depress!!!!! ARGH......

[jes328]

I sympathize with how badly you've been feeling about life - when there hasn't been hope nor seemingly a way out of suffering and misery no matter what we try. I've learned one thing, though (the hard way believe me) and I keep reminding myself if or as needed - we can't keep feeling sorry for ourselves for too long. We have to look and find the bright side - we have to find what we have to be thankful for - then look up and say "thank you". I think it's important to do (for the sake of ourselves) to find something in all the darkness of life to be thankful for. Don't let the devil win... If I were you, had a daughter and a few friends, some people that listened and cared you have hope already. If I were your friend I'd say "become a volunteer and donate some of your time helping the less fortunate than yourself. Help other people by being a volunteer because there's a blessing in it.

I had hoped for several years that my x-wife would come crying back to me and would say she loves me. I had gone crawling back to her twice, at least twice and there's one thing I've learned by it - I should have never given her so much power that way by crawling back the times I had... She had only crushed me worse each time I had managed to spend time with her. She always wanted us to stay friends... she had kept me on a string. It sucks to need someone... to live alone... and deal with loneliness... Being needy is never an attractive thing to the other person. The secret to winning is by getting stronger, being happy with yourself and beating the depression and hopelessness! Finding a way to be happy and to show your independance! So find a way! Pray to God, ask for forgiveness if needed, then ask for help and guidance to find an organization that can help you! Don't let your cheating husband who has given up on you have power over you. And don't give up on yourself! You don't need the guy! You have to realize that! Find a way to realize that and find a way to make yourself feel better about you! Become a volunteer if you can't find work right now. God will help you if you do. That's what I believe.

[Im_doomed]

Thank you so much for all your support. You've made my day. I'm feeling a whole lot better already.

[jes328]

To help gain inner strength, independance from others, self-esteem, peace of mind, etc. we must have a way to forgive others and ourselves at times and let go of resentment, grudges and anger (very important). I don't mean to get all religious or anything, but thru the darkness of my own life, the many years I had suffered torments of depression and hopelessness - it finally came to my mind that much of my suffering, I believe, had been caused by my lack of forgiveness for people that had deeply hurt me. I used to hold onto resentment and anger, even hatred at times. It had almost devoured me. I found that resentment is poison to one's self yet I hadn't been able to forgive, couldn't do it alone - and had to beg God for help! In my experience I think the fastest prayer answered is when we ask for help to forgive others. I ask as often as needed, whenever I feel resentment in my heart towards someone. If you pay attention to how you feel right after asking (from your heart) for help to forgive someone, you'll notice the help from above comes QUICKLY.

When it comes to times of sadness, depression or despair (which I don't feel too much of that anymore - thank you God) I use a music/meditation CD. The CD contains a Hindu prayer in song that Hindus know is VERY POWERFUL. The prayer or mantra is called the Moola Mantra. I'm not Hindu, but I tell you the mantra works! The CD is by Deva Premal and is called "The Moola Mantra" as well.