The waiting game.

[clover]

My depression seems to be getting worse. I have trouble sleeping and even more trouble getting out of bed in the morning. I've stopped going to classes, I barely make it to work and I've isolated myself from everyone around me. I don't go out anymore because I have trouble looking people in the eye and maintaining conversations and yet, when I'm alone I am consumed by these horrible thoughts telling me what a worthless, horrible cunt I am. I hate it. And what I hate even more is how horrible our mental health system is. I've been made to wait a month until I can see a psychiatrist and get a diagnosis and during the past few weeks my condition has only worsened. The tension headaches are back and every day I hope when I go to bed I don't wake up. I can't cope anymore. I've been experiencing these horrible mood swings for years now and because our mental health system is so grossly underfunded, I can't even get help when I reach out. I'm so exhausted and over it.

[SideEffectsInclude]

Jesus Christ, that sounds awful. How do we fix this? There's got to be a way. I mean, this isn't something that human beings ordinarily experience, right? Evolutionarily, I mean. From my experience, pills don't help much. But I'm trying to get into Buddhist meditation; I've read good things about it from neuroscience journals. What do you think? Any ideas?

[SideEffectsInclude]

PS: I wrote a screenplay freshman year about a young woman named Clover. Truthfact.

[pinkpanther]

Meditation helps and find someone you can talk to. Share your thoughts and feelings to someone you trust. You can also divert your time and thoughts to other things. Pills don't help much. I know that it is important to seek out help but you have to help yourself too. Try relaxing or going on a vacation or trip. This will help your mind relax. And try not think too much. Breathe in Breathe out.

[ariski]

I know exactly how you feel. It's like I haven't even got the enegery to attempt to make myself feel better. When you deal with something for so long and isolate yourself like so many of us do, it's like you don't know who you are anymore. It's as if you want to get back to 'being you' but you don't know how and our messed up health care system does nothing to help us along. I never knew that being healthy, mentally and physically is something that you didn't deserve at birth but rather something you'll spend your whole life working your ass off for, just to be able to function like a normal human if that's possible. I just switched jobs and have no health care coverage for a month, and I am one of the lucky ones.

No pills don't cure you, but they can assist with calming yourself down until your ready to deal with the issues in your head and sort them out for a bit.
I'm sorry that you can't have the help you deserve when you DO have the energy to try and fix the problems you face. I feel your pain.

[Jen929]

Can your regular doctor not prescribe you something before your psychiatrist visit? I know my doctor is willing to prescribe sleep medicine and anti-depressants or anti-anxiety medicine. The psychiatrist helps to figure out what kinds of meds might help, but the regular doctor might be able to prescribe in the meantime. Also, have you tried calling the pdoc up and telling his nurse/receptionist/whoever answers that you are in immense pain and need to be fitted in before your appointment? Or to call you if they have a cancellation? Maybe your regular doctor could call and ask them to speed up the process? Might not work, but could help.

I hear these other members saying pills don't help--and I agree they aren't the only solution. But I do think that pills can get you to a place where you can function and then you might be able to work on other things in your life.

I'm so sorry you're feeling all this. It's incredibly hard to feel good about yourself when you're depressed, not sleeping well, having headaches,etc. However, there are people that care about you and you are not worthless! I wish you health and hope you update us on your progress.

[SideEffectsInclude]

The literature I've read suggests that medication can perform significantly better than placebo at relieving symptoms of major depressive episodes. But they effectively do no better than placebo at dealing with light or moderate depression. I don't mean to downplay their importance for helping some people.

Honestly, I'm just frustrated because, right now, medication does jack shit for me. Don't let my bitterness dissuade anyone from trying medication.

[clover]

My doctor refuses to prescribe me anything because he thinks I may be bipolar but he's not allowed to diagnose hence me having to play the waiting game. And I've be warned by others that medication isn't always the answer but right now I'm desperate enough to try anything. I can't even catch the train home by myself without wanting to jump on the tracks. It's horrible. I hope you find some sort of treatment that works for you 'SideEffectsInclude'. No one deserves to suffer the pain and anguish depression entails.