I'm scared...

[Boots]

I'm only 15, I just needed to tell someone that isn't going to judge me like everyone I know.
Just a couple of years ago I was so happy, I had great friends, a happy life, loved school but ever since my younger sister started hanging around my male friends they kind of left me and my female friends for these younger girls (We're the type of arty girls who don't get in trouble and try to do well in school but we're not boring, we had waterfights and played and stuff and we all had loads of fun, my sister and her friends are the kind of girls who go around wearing skirts that look more like belts and who jump on any guy they come into contact with)
Ever since then it seems that I'm the only one who cared that they were gone and I want to hate them for just leaving but I can't and I feel so weak, eventually I started having these dark turns where one minute I'd be fine and the next I'd be sitting, crying on my bed in the dark, alone and it seems to be getting worse and worse. My dad shouts at me all the time but doesn't care if I do something right. It's gotten to the point where the shouting doesn't even bother me anymore, it's just the being completely ignored. Most of the time I just feel like I'm not on earth at all because nobody puts in any effort to talk to me and it makes me sad and angry that I always have to say hi first, it's like it's a chore to talk to me yet I've done absolutely nothing wrong, I'm always nice to people and I feel so stupid for being nice to the people who make my life hell by iscolating me. I just want to crawl into a hole and die but I'd never kill myself because I'm too scared!

[AnxiouslyWaiting]

Hi there,

Your post really got my attention as I felt this way throughout most of my teenage years. I made a few good friends throughout the years but overall I felt lonely most of the time. I never felt like I fit in and that the people I spoke to were always judging me.

I was able to get over the hump in my last few years of high school by getting involved in activities where I could meet people. I began playing sports and card games with the other classmates and although I didn't make any lifelong friends, being involved and interacting with other people in new activities made me feel a lot happier and I began to lose the feeling that I was 'different' than everyone else. I really took to playing card games as a hobby and just the idea of looking forward to playing made me really enjoy the time that I had and encouraged me to be social with others.

If you find it difficult engaging in activities with your school mates, recreation centres are a great way to meet people and engage in a wide range of activities. It also helps to have someone to talk to so it is great that you have joined a site like this so you can vent and share experiences with others. Writing also helped me immensely - whether it be a short story of just a paragraph of what was bothering me on any given day.

I hope that helps.

Phil

[Harry]

Yes boots he is absolutely right and you just don't worry about life and take it as a fun and do entertainment and also love people and always be nice to people as you are and also don't blame yourself as well as others. Try to be happy always you will have no complaint from life.