Depression for Me

[imaaussie]

Hello Ihave suffered from Unresponsive Major depression for over 5 yrs now

Been in and out of hospital several times,attempted s 4 times,been on so many different pills had about 20 lots of ect

you know its so hard to tell you what its like to be depressed,because unless you've really been there you just wouldnt Know.
Its not sadness that goes after a while .....thats normal
its not being unhappy because something didnt go right.....that goes and is normal
In fact Im not sure I can describe what NORMAL is

But I sure as hell can tell you what Depression is for ME
There are different types of depression.......But this ME
A complete lack of drive to do anything
A sensce of sadness all the time
Loneliness even if people around
Nothing makes me Laugh
lack of showing caring,compassion,loving
self loathing,disappointment,lack of self esteem,lack of self
unable to cope with problems
inability to solve problems
inability to make decisions
Fogginess in my mind
Mind in turmoil
1000 yard stare to block out thing going on around me
closing my eyes to look like im asleep....to block out thing around me
Feeling of being in a tunnel....not a straight one where eventually you come out into the light
not one with a curve in it .......as you get closer to the curve you start to see a glimmer of light

But a tunnel that is a viscious circle....no start or end .....no light to be seen
and thats a normal day with no end in sight cause there is no end
If in this circle as I am daily,I am faced with problems,issues on top of the never ending
trawl around the circle
It/They just ##$$&&!! DROP ME did you read that it DROPS ME
And if it was possible for my Depression to get worse it DOES And believe me these situations occur quite regularly .

DROPS ME........Freezes me to almost Catotonic state.....dont want to/wont talk
wont do anything........1000 yard stare,looking but not seeing,set jaw...clenched teeth to the point of pain in face,......tense muscles all over my body......a mind thats going round in circles
about NOTHING......not able to even try to solve anything.

Depression the most debilitating,life sucking sickness that I know of.

[darkness-]

i know what you mean, most of the things are the same by me. i've been starting to fail school because i just can't concentrate anymore. i tell myself i will but 5 minutes later i'm staring out the window blankly. and if i'm talking to someone, i space out and have to ask them to repeat what they said. my mind just doesn't seem to want to cooperate anymore. i always try to act like nothing's wrong with me, even though it's awfully hard since i dunno how i should be thinking if i weren't depressed.
the worst part is when you're doing something you used to love and you feel the same darkness creeping over you so that you can't enjoy it anymore.
and i completely agree, depression is the worst sickness... because you have no motivation to fight it.

[Harry]

Well it seems to be a strange story and strange things happens with both of you and you people must consult some specialist who deals it. I don't think so it will take more time to be correct. And don't loose hope in any matter everything will be alright. Just believe in your strength and consult any specialist person.

[Roxteler]

In my opinion depression is the creation of our own mind so never lose hope try to be happy and just concentrate on your health because depression totally damage our health so i hope you will get ride from it soon.

[jptr297]

Yeah, I've been down that road. It's been a long time since I had all of the symptons that you are describing. I'm amazed that you've been dealing with it for so long. Nothing at all has helped? Have you ever tried Xanax ? Xanax may help lift that dark cloud that never goes away. Pamelor is a good antidepressant. Hope this helps. Good luck.

Casey

[DeepTangerine]

On the bright side, you're not alone. We're here for you. Rest for a while before you try to fix anything. If you're constantly trying to fix things then you quickly get exhausted and that makes it a lot worse.

[Carver]

Yes Depression is a big problem in those days, But according to me if you have will power,
if you have positive thinking then you should be able to resolve this problem, i mean to say like
make some good and nice friends,busy your self, reading books, Hope its helps.....

[Blwmn]

Depression for me = paralyzed by fear.
No enthusiasm, everything overwhelming, forgetful, don't feel em
Can't succeed in working environment due to feeling bullied. The more I am pushed the less I can do. Was in emotionally abusive relationship for 20 years - work subconsciously affects me as being abusive and I shut down - has happened to me in three different jobs.
Isolation becomes a way of life.
Medication hardly helps.
Want to do something at times, but being overwhelmed and fearful gets in the way.
Had Ect 13 years ago. Didn't do much.

[Oram]

I can understand your feeling because I have also spent so much time in depression. I suggest you to avoid living alone and try to do those things which gives you relaxation and happiness. And spend more time with your loved ones.

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[richa]

Hay all Guy

you well know about it so tight to express, what its like to be depressed,because unless you have really been there you just wouldnt Know.
Its not sadness that goes after a while .....thats normal
its not being unhappy because something didnt go right.....that goes and is normal,and my this expression for those who committed in this.

[hostaa]

Hay
Just it seems to be a strange story and strange things happens with both of you and you people must consult some specialist who deals it. I don't think so it will take more time to be correct. And don't loose hope in any matter everything will be alright.