No will to live

[Shawn]

I feel hopeless. Why should I even attempt to remain here when I'm so unhappy. My whole life I've been lied to about where I came from who I am. I grew up in a house where i was to be quiet and kept to myself. I never felt comfortable in my own house, afraid of what i might say or do wrong. This is now how I approach life. Worried about looking dumb and can't take anybody talking down to me in anyway. My best friends have been recently ganging up on me and being quite condescending towards me. I feel like an inadequate human being. I feel like I've never been myself because I don't really know what that is. I wish i just had one person I could just talk to about this without making me feel worse.

[anonymous123]

you have to understand theres nothing wrong with you, talk to your friend about you feel and if they dont stop leave them you can do better, i think you should do some soul searching find activities do something, anything find out who you are, i grew up in a home like that too were i dont feel comfortable being me its so extreme i dont even feel comfortable doing something simple like prayer, but you have to learn and grow and try to feel comfortable or find a place you feel safe and secure , you can be happy ,fighting the demons that keep you down is difficult but theres more to life and i hope you find peace and security, im here if you ever want to talk. im sure youre a great person dont let your past bring you down, i know its harder than it sounds but i know you can do it.

[CallMeIshmael]

I totally understand the way you feel man. I just get so worried about fucking up that I fuck things up more and it just makes me feel completely inadequate like you said. You can drop me a line anytime. Although I haven't really come up with any way to get past it so it might not help that much

[darkness-]

i'm in the same situation. i'm always careful about what i say or do. i think about every step i take so i dont do anything wrong or someone start something. i'm hoping it'll get better when i turn 18 and finish school, that i wont have anyone looking down on me like parents or teachers anymore.

i think freedom is what we are all searching for.
but i also think that finding freedom in this world is impossible...

[UncomfortablyNumb]

Its funny isnt it that talking about this subject with the wrong person can really make you feel worse. Being understood is what we all crave, and I would guess most people on this site want. Somehow, we have to figure out how to get this horrible feelings inside to stop, even for just a few minutes so we can breathe. I feel the same way as you and I wanted to let you know that you were not alone. I don't know who I am really or what my purpose is here either. I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up and I'm over 40! I do know that helping others makes me feel better, as well as watching anything motivational i.e - The Secret, etc. Earlier today I thought of suicide again myself as I can't stand the agony of my feelings inside, with no one to help me, no one who really understands what I am going through. I also have been feeling very self-concious when I am around my friends and feel like I have nothing to say and feel dumb. I feel not interesting anymore and am afraid of saying the wrong thing as everything i do lately seems wrong. I have heard keeping a journal makes you feel better as you can write down all the crap thats circling in your head and the getting it out of you seems to make people feel better. Many people have told me this, so I am putting this on the list of things to try. Peace out

[darkness-]

i sometimes wrote down how i felt, it made me feel a little bit better even if i had actually only written "i hate this". so i guess it is helpful to keep a journal. i just find it even more depressing and it makes me feel helpless when i have nothing more to write down because everything has been mentioned.

[riahforever]

Dear Shawn, you are so young & innocent. I am a senior & have lived with depression all my life because of what happened to me as a child, teen & adult. I have experienced the same feelings as you & wonder why I keep going on. The answer is because life is precious. My depression is not caused by a chemical imbalance but what people did to me over my lifetime. There is light at the end of the tunnel & you have to keep trying. Seek professional help as talking with a therapist really helps to relieve the pent up feelings. I have been seeing one for many years & that helps me keep going. Someone to talk to who has no bias. It make me so sad to hear someone so young feel as you do. There are people out here who care, just remember that.

You are a precious human being, a gift from God. Take Care Riah

[Torrie]

Well I do agree what riahforever has said . I think you must understand that You are in this world because You are important human being . So I would say that you need to say prayer and be happy because the life is temporary .

[Aquila]

You have incredible power with yourself. Find that power. Be still and quiet, and let the voice of your higher Self speak in the silence.

[Aquila]

within yourself.

[riahforever]

Hi Aquila,
I responded to a post by Shawn, I think you got me mixed up with him. Have a great day.