Bad interaction leaves me feeling down

[TraversD]

Today I had a bad interaction with people I don't know in a public place and I can't shake the feeling. I took my dog to the dog park and some people had brought their young children. There is a sign saying that children 8 and over are welcome if supervised. Dogs are allowed to run off leash, though I often keep the leash attached to him.

My dog is young and friendly- he jumps on people. I don't want him to, but he does. If he jumps on one of the other dog people who know him they turn away or push him down, which is fine. Well there was a child about 4 running so my dog jumped on her and knocked her over. I grabbed his lead and walked him away without saying anything. I'm sorry he knocked her down, but she shouldn't have been brought to a dog park anyway.

A little while later he wanted to go back to where the children were- he likes them. One of the adults stepped on my dogs leash so he couldn't move or come to me. I felt my blood boiling. I went over there and told her to leave my dog alone. He hadn't jumped on anyone a second time- he just wanted to see what all the excitement was.

I told them that this was a dog park, not a kid park, and that children under 8 should not be here. The guy said there is no such rule and argued with me about it. It degenerated from there- pretty soon they were swearing at me- in front of a two year old- and I asked if they'd like to hit me. All in all, they were angry, self-righteous, and insulting toward me for suggesting that their children didn't belong there.

I feel like crap two hours later. I don't like the way I acted. But I truly felt threatened... it wouldn't have taken much for this to escalate into physical violence. The thing is, this sort of thing happens at the dog park regularly. The parents are defiant about their rights- even though the rules are posted at the entrance. The city never wants to get involved in stuff.

Dogs have killed other dogs at the dog park from time to time. Dogs kill children from time to time. Why are some people so stupid that they would bring their very young children to a park where dozens of dogs are running off leash and act all surprised if their child is knocked down. I told this to my vet - who has a two year old - and she was horrified. She wouldn't bring a baby to the dog park under any circumstances.

During the yelling I felt totally devalued as a human being. They swore at me and told me my dog was out of control. They acted like I was totally out of line. Other 'dog people' have had this experience... dog parents are infinitely inferior to human parents.

Anyway, I emailed the parks division and asked them to make the rule about children more visible. I don't think they really want young children being hurt on their property.

I am just trying to shake the feelings I got while being sworn at by the self righteous parents.

[lisamarie]

Those confrontations are just terrible. You know I do not understand why anyone would bring a young child to a dog park. This sounds a bit like segregating smokers I know, but if there are dog parks that allow young children it needs to be in a separate area, and even then addressed with caution. Dogs...even the best trained, most well mannered etc. are "dogs" so they are not always predictable. I have an area that I take my dog to and when others are not around I let him run/we throw the ball etc. We have a dog park quite far away, and while I want to go, my terrier is terrified of children for some reason. I have to pretty much beg parents to not let their children run up and pet my dog, just because I don't know how he will react. Sorry for the ramble there...I've had about 2-3 times when someone elses dog has been off leash/or they have not controlled their dog, and they have run up to my dog aggressively (always a much bigger dog compared to mine...who also only has 3 legs ) and he will nip...not bite/ or attack, but nip when they are aggressive. Once this happened at a major pet store/ while waiting for our dogs to get their nails trimmed. This dog owner became irate at me, and honestly I am terrible at the confrontation/ and was close to tears. While I made sure her dog was ok etc. I reminded that her dog came up to mine/ who was by my side/ and he was 3 times his side, and was the one that jumped on him. Anyway, that interaction really effected me, and I was just a mess. It took a long time to realize that she was the one that in the wrong there. When something similar happened at a park where dogs had to stay on their leash, I made sure to call the parks supervisor. That really is a proactive way to handle this situation. So hurray for you.
Take care and don't be hard on yourself.

[TraversD]

You get it. When someone tells me I'm wrong I feel wrong even if intellectually I know I'm right. It takes a while to get re-centered.

The dog park is one of those places where the users have to enforce the rules. The bad interactions between dogs are hard enough. I guess I've realized that there are some people who get a dog and come to the park, and they don't have a clue about what is appropriate. The best thing is that people who want to learn can get a lot out of bringing their dog to the park- but the people have to learn the rules, just like the dogs. When someone is really obnoxious and I've never seen them before I just give them a really hard time and I hope they don't come back. If they have an agressive dog, they've usually had a few bad interactions already.

The good times are really good though. Sometimes the only people I see and talk to the whole day are my 'dog park friends'. I count on this as a needed social interaction as well as exercise. Most of the time its a good point in my day.

Today I went to the dp twice. The morning visit was very good, the afternoon was horrible.

ok now I am going to focus on the warm fuzzy beast who is curled up on my bed and be glad we're both ok



One other time there was a boy about 6 who was fallen down and he was crying. My dog went over and licked him on the face and all over. Then he started laughing so hard he couldn't stop. His mom told me that was the first time he ever really liked a dog besides their own... he was afraid but he understood the dog kisses were comfort.

[bluebutterfly]

You poor thing! Even though you know you were in the right and they were in the wrong, you can't control what other people do. And as frustrating as that is, you can't change the events that preceded.

I find that if I remind myself that dwelling on such things and feeling sad or angry about it, it doesn't accomplish anything, and it won't change what happened. You only make yourself feel worse. The best thing to do is forget about it (and as easy as it is to say, I know it is difficult to do).

Hope this helps you like it helps me...

bluebutterfly

[lisamarie]

See I just love dogs I only wish I could hire Caesar Milan (?) the dog whisperer to help me/and my dog when he gets skittish around children. He was a runaway/adopted and I really think that there was a negative interaction there. I'm not sure about your dog park, but the ones' I've been familiar with(though have never been to) have records on the dogs/owners because they ask for updated shots etc. I'd think if that was the case there/ at your dog park/ that they would be able to look into some sort of action against those dogs/ and more importantly crumby owners.