Someone help... Im new here...

[WallFlower]

I cant do anything... i dont know what to do but lay on my bed and sleep. But somehow that gets boring and leads me irritated. Im to sore to move... and i keep passing out and crying. Im new here. Everyone thinks this is my fault. No one realizes im going back to what i once was. My moms yelling at me... she calls me many names... says im worthless, fat, lazy, so many hurtful things. Even when im trying to do something right.. i always do it wrong for her. Im crying... i can barely breathe most of the time. I just want to die sometimes... but i know i must not.. i know i cant... nothing intrests me anymore... people are calling me a jerk when im just talking to them. i try... nothing works. I want to cling to people.. and i also want to run away. They have no time for a weakling like me... they hate me... but i know that's not true... so then why do they not make times... why dont they do anything to help... why do they only scold... im sick.. im tired... i feel like im dying .. no i am dead... what do i do?

[GuitarGirl]

Gosh I'm sorry you're feeling so rotton at the moment. I offer you a hug.

How long have you been feeling like this? May I ask how old you are. The situation with your mom sounds pretty painfull. How comes it's got like that?

[Glen]

Hmm i am in the same situation as you but it isn't my mum. My dad all the time calls me a pussy and useless if i can't do something. I mean FFS i am trying my best.

[eeyore]

I have been there although my mum is very supportive now she wasnt then, she even offered me the tablets once to kill myself, she really didnt get it. So weird as now she is one of the most understanding. There is no easy way out but to keep on moving, dont listen to what people say you ARE WORTHWHILE

[Msme]

Hi, I'm new here too. I'm sorry you are going through a rough time. I just got out of the hospital a month or so ago. Things have been tough for me too. So, I know how it feels. Family can be a really tough thing when it comes to depression sometimes. Maybe, your mother is frustrated. She doesn't know how to help you. She takes her frustration out on you. Maybe you should talk to her and tell her how you feel. She might be more understanding. As far as being a "jerk"..when I'm depressed I can be a "jerk" too. But, that's not who I am. That does not define who I am. It's all part of this illness. You just have to remind yourself that this isn't the real you. Wanting and needing people is natural. Everyone needs support. The running away part..is something I do myself. I do it because I'm scared of getting hurt. I've been hurt so many times by so many people that it is hard to trust anyone. It's something you just have to work on one day at a time. It's hard to see things as they are when you are depressed. It's either in black or white. in other words...everyone hates me or everyone loves me...no in between. But, that just isn't true. Everything with depression is how you look at things. You can beat yourself down for what or who you want to be..or blame yourself for situations...everyone has their own thing they feel down about. Or you can pick up the pieces of yourself..and get through another day..if you have one or two days out of the week that are good days..that's better than none..that is the kind of attitude you have to have. You are here. You want someone to talk to that understands. that shows that you care about yourself..that shows strength..its not easy to talk about things like this sometimes.. Stay strong!

[Christyle]

How old are you? Are you seeking any sort of treatment at all? Any counseling? Anyone know that you are feeling suicidal at times? I worry that you perhaps alone in all this.