My boyfriend and I

[Katie]

Hello. I've been going out with my boyfriend since last August. Since I met him I knew he wasn't for me. He is constantly abusing psychologically of me. He calls me stupid, he controls me.

I know I contribute a lot, and I make mistakes in the relationship.
I know this is a risky relationship that affects my self-esteem. I know that it puts me in danger of neglecting my mental and emotional health, my depression,or any other area of my life.

Still. I want to be with him, most of the time.
We are together almost 24hours a day, except when I have class.
He doesn't work or study at the moment, so I'm almost always with him during my 'free time'.

Today, after spending almost one whole week just the two of us, not seeing any of his friends, he basically told me that he'd call me in the afternoon he was going to hang out with his friends by himself. This, I perceive, doesn't happen much; but anyway I know this moves me and my issues of dependency.

Anyway, he didn't call or anything until about an hour ago. I don't feel angry, but I think that I am. He told me he had sent me text messages, that he must have my cellphone number wrong because I didn't get them (I just got a new one).
I don't believe him. Anyway I told him I wanted to take a break for him so I'll see him tomorrow.

I feel very guilty, and he wants me to.
I came to the conclusion that it is this guilt that has me so attached to him.

I'd appreciate any comment or advice!!
I mostly need to vent a lot!
Thank you all for reading!!!!

[GuitarGirl]

Vent all you need!!!! I hope you find what you need to get out of that relationship. It sounds like you know you'll be better off when you're out...but I understand that making such a decision is easier said than done.

[Christy]

Write up a list of all the pros & cons for being in the relationship. Writing it on paper and having it in front of me helped me make my decision, and whenever I felt guilty or sad about my choice, I re-read my list to reassure myself.

I was in a similar situation a couple of years ago, we weren't around each other 24/7 though. Leaving him was the best thing I've done, I felt so much better after. I've also learnt from it - never, ever to put up with shit like that from anyone. No one deserves to be abused.

[Desi]

If, as you say, the man abuses you psychologically constantly, then what makes you want to be with him all the time? You deserve to be loved and appreciated, we all do.

Obviously you have some serious issues to figure out here.

[Rachel]

n the past i've stayed in relationships longer than i knew was healthy, a lot of times b/c even though it wasn't a good relationship, i thought it was better than being alone. being single isn't easy, but i think it's a lot better than having someone around who is criticizing and judging all the time. i hope you can find a way to start putting some distance between the 2 of you and spending time with friends who are supportive.