Tearful

[Red]

Don't know what is up with me of late, I guess I'm realising that surviving is easier than living. With surviving you don't really have needs, hopes or dreams, you just get through that next hour.

With living you do try to make plans, do try to do things that are considered part of normal life. I'm not very good at that, I guess I've kind of forgotten how to do things like that.

But most of all I feel lonely and unloved, people care about me, I know that but outside of immediate family no one really cares about me. I have friendly acquaintances but I don't have friends, I'm no good at social interaction.

I've been wearing masks for so long I don't even know who I truly am or what my beliefs are, my life doesn't seem to have much meaning at the moment.

[Timothy]

It sucks that you are feeling like this. Life doesn't have to be a long dragging trip that you have to put up with each hour by hour. There is more to it then that! No matter what you are going to end up in the same place as everyone, but the memories along the way are what separate us. Would you rather having the memories of someone who has slowly made it through every day feeling like crap inside, or someone that although they were feeling like crap inside, they tried their best to make the best of every bad situation and went out of their comfort zone to experience what life has to offer? I know having a mental illness makes this harder then i make it sound, but it is still possible to overcome your illness and make the best of the life you have. I hope that you are able to establish who you really are and take a while to consider what you really want to achieve in your life Follow your passions, do what ever it is that makes you happy and try give meaning to your life!

[Ashes]

I live a lie everyday. I pretend Im interested, I pretend Im OK, I pretend to be less pessimistic. At this point in my life I don't even want to think about what the future holds much less try to make goals. I have said this many times in the last several years I simply exist not live.

[Fey]

I'm not living, I'm just killing time.

[Timothy]

I'm not living, I'm just killing time.

That's a really sad way to look at life. I am really sorry that you look it like that. Your completely right though , everyday most of us just do stuff to get to the end of the day but we still at least feel like we are living. I hope things improve for you and you are able to see it like everyone who doesn't have depression. I envy how they feel.

[Lumiere]

....everyday most of us just do stuff to get to the end of the day...

I read that part and went "....ohhhhhhh, bugger." To be honest, I never realised that but I wonder what it would be like to just enjoy the moments throughout the day rather than counting down the clock to go to bed. Tomorrow's task: Enjoying insignificant moments.

[Timothy]

I read that part and went "....ohhhhhhh, bugger." To be honest, I never realised that but I wonder what it would be like to just enjoy the moments throughout the day rather than counting down the clock to go to bed. Tomorrow's task: Enjoying insignificant moments.

haha i think i shall make that my task as well. I will try my hardest to feel happy that i am surrounded by people i want nothing to do with I really do envy people who don't feel they need to question anything, they don't think beyond the basic and nothing ever gets them down... some people have it so easy.

[GlassPeople]

I've been wearing masks for so long I don't even know who I truly am or what my beliefs are, my life doesn't seem to have much meaning at the moment.

I can absolutely relate. The thing about masks is that they protect you from other people, but they shut out other people as well.
And when you look in the mirror, all you see is the mask.
I don't have a remedy for you. But I have an ear and a face, and I can listen, and I have learned the value of that.
Now, I would suggest a cup of Earl Gray tea and a long walk. That always puts things in perspective.

[scaredbezzy]

tearful i can identify with how you feel.ive had depression in the past but was keeping it pretty much under control til february.i dont see a future for me and if there is one it seems hopeless bleak and miserable.i am far too anxious and depressed to make any plans for the future.most day i just exist i go through the motions and put on a brave face for my dad as i'm his carer.i get up everyday as he needs me and has no one else.if he didnt need me most days i wouldnt get out of bed
i feel whatever i do nothing will ever get better.i feel very empty and trapped in my own mind like depression and anxiety has me held prisoner
.i also know what its like to just try and get through the next hour and not dare to think any further forward
i have been the mentally ill,depressive one for so long i dont know who i am or what i believe either its awful to feel so empty
i know i am only on a pc screen but i'd like to be friends with you as i dont have many friends either
if you would like to talk one on one you can email me or add me on msn or facebook
raprockgirl@hotmail.com
big hugs scaredbezzy xxxx