Single mum losing it

[WhoAmI]

Being in a relationship with my ex has caused me to lose myself. He's made me feel ugly, unworthy, unwanted, used, humiliated, lonely. I used to like who I was. I was happy, confident and felt good about myself.

I stayed quiet through my whole marriage not wanting to rock the boat but all he did was use that to his advantage.

Now, I'm fighting, looking for a fight just because I'm tired of being quiet. I've been trying to be "the better" person. Giving in and allowing him to see his son anytime he wants and allowing to him to take our son to family gatherings etc without any problems. He then plans our sons 1st birthday without asking me or consulting me on anything. This hurt me. I felt like I was going to be turning up to my own sons birthday as a guest. I gave birth to him and have raised him on my own since birth. I had dreamed about what the day would look like and looked forward to organising everything. He took that away from me too.

Now he's making my life hell just because I wanted to stop helping him with work. He's cut off all financial support. Now, not sure how I'm going to pay the rent, make the car repayments as well as buy food and pay for electricity without asking for loans and help from family and friends. II'm in another state with no family and only a couple of friends. I'm tired of fighting but I'm tired of being walked all over.

[Declan123]

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