Gday

[R.W6]

Hey guys!
Well, i have only been recently diagnosed with depression and anxiety.
so just looking for a bit of help. especially from those who are going thru the same deal.

so yeah!
hey!

[woods]

Hey guys!
Well, i have only been recently diagnosed with depression and anxiety.
so just looking for a bit of help. especially from those who are going thru the same deal.

so yeah!
hey!

Hi RW6, I note a few people are reading our posts, but no one has replied! So I thought I would.
Yes it took me a while to get a handle on this depression thing, I denied there was anything wrong for quite a while. Aventually though I saw that my wife was right, and that I wasn't quite right in the head!
I dislike taking medications, or perhaps I should say I dislike being dependant on them, but the little white pills do work, so I will keep taking them until I feel I can manage without them.
Have you been put on any medication for your depression? Do you know what is causing your depression?
Regards, Wood.

[sentient7]

Hi woods, I have not been diagnosed with anything. I just know my heart is broken.

I have been intermittently depressed all my life though, a few times clinically and most times it's semi mild and then goes away.
I am having a major growth faze too boot which equals pain-- lots of it
I suppose i can be greatful that i am learning alot about myself in the process but right now it's like hell.

I have alot of bad memories from childhood and no family support, lots of dysfuntionality all round.
I am taking lexapro, its helping a little bit.

What i really need and want is another human being to love and have our own little world- our house- just one person in this world that i can trust and turn to and be there for.
I lost him.
Now its just like a continuation of the nightmare that is my life..
Little tastes of sweet that keep being violently ripped away from me. Either by my own stupidty, others or both.

[woods]

Hi woods, I have not been diagnosed with anything. I just know my heart is broken.

I have been intermittently depressed all my life though, a few times clinically and most times it's semi mild and then goes away.
I am having a major growth faze too boot which equals pain-- lots of it
I suppose i can be greatful that i am learning alot about myself in the process but right now it's like hell.

I have alot of bad memories from childhood and no family support, lots of dysfuntionality all round.
I am taking lexapro, its helping a little bit.

What i really need and want is another human being to love and have our own little world- our house- just one person in this world that i can trust and turn to and be there for.
I lost him.
Now its just like a continuation of the nightmare that is my life..
Little tastes of sweet that keep being violently ripped away from me. Either by my own stupidty, others or both.

I can certainly understand the loneliness, but what I hear is that if you had someone to love and cherrish then all would be well. The thing is that if you want someone that desperately you are likely to make one of two mistakes. 1) choose the first one that comes along, and this person could not only be a real loser, but they could be harmful. 2) You cherrish them so much that you smother them and drive them away.
I think you need to find some happiness elsewhere first, find some things you really like doing. Write yourself a list sometime and see if there are any you can supply/accomplish. In doing so it will hopefully take you out and about, and at the same time put you in the way of finding someone. But to just sit back and want/wait for that one special one could mean just more desperation and heartache.
I have clinical deppression, and have had it ever since I lost a close friend to cancer. Since then I have lost my parents and another two close friends. Now though I have been diagnosed with DEMENTIA! Can you imagine! How long will it be before I am a dribbling wreck? Well I am not going to sit around and wait for it to happen. I am going to do all I can to fight this thing and at least slow its progression if I can.
Meanwhile I intend to get out and do things I enjoy doing, on my own if necessary. I enjoy 18th century Historical Trekking, and whether or not anyone else turns up is not going to matter from now on, I am out of here!
What are your thoughts ? With best wishes and regards, Woods.

[sentient7]

I agree but i don't want just anyone to love and im not desperate. What i meant is i want this man in particular because as wack as the situation sounds we are kind of perfect for each other (circumstances aside). I can't imagine being with anybody else.
I know i should get out and do something else. But i just dont feel like it. I dont want to. I have lost all enthusiasm for anything. I just want to evaporate.

I cant imagine having to go through what you are going through and i know that in comparison my problems seem trivial and maybe they are.
But this pain isn't.
If i could switch it off i would.
But it won't leave me.
I didn't even see it comming, it just hit me like a tonn of bricks.

[woods]

I agree but i don't want just anyone to love and im not desperate. What i meant is i want this man in particular because as wack as the situation sounds we are kind of perfect for each other (circumstances aside). I can't imagine being with anybody else.
I know i should get out and do something else. But i just dont feel like it. I dont want to. I have lost all enthusiasm for anything. I just want to evaporate.

I cant imagine having to go through what you are going through and i know that in comparison my problems seem trivial and maybe they are.
But this pain isn't.
If i could switch it off i would.
But it won't leave me.
I didn't even see it comming, it just hit me like a tonn of bricks.

No Sentient, you are quite right, it is all relavent. How other people are feeling and handling the situation does not enter into it, though they can give you some insight.
When I was a young chap in England, I fell in love with this girl. I was head over heels. Anyway as time went on I did not love her any less, but I hated my lifestyle, and what was worse I could see where I was heading. We got engaged, and could see that the future was us together in a ticky tacky council house with me stuck in a job I hated and I suddenly cracked. I broke off the engagement and bought a ticket to Australia. I was 20 years of age.
Here in Australia life was, is, different. I worked hard, 13-16 hours a day on one job for a whole year in the desert. I finished up in the Territory and met this girl. Then cyclone Tracey hit Darwin in 1974, that is where we were. We survived, got married. We have been married for 32 years and have three grown up sons and we are both still in love after all this time.
There is more than one person waiting out there for us, for you. Give life a chance, stop holding it at bay. Try really hard to get on with life and if you are a decent nice (I hate that word nice!) person, you will get another chance, believe me.
With warm regards, Woods.

[sentient7]

Thanks Woods, i think i am a decent person but i cant think about the idea of anyone else especially while there is still hope for us...
I know how i must be sounding, its hard , i'm in a state.
I can look at myself subjectively and see that and yet still not be able to conatin it.

The worst part of my predicament is the fact that i pushed him away, i told him to go because he is married.
But as soon as i did, i missed him and oh jesus the pain.
I never doubted my love for him i just wasn't sure that he would stay, i was scared , lots of things..

You know how you say you're still in love with your wife.
Thats what it's like with me and my love!
We never lost the pasison, the excitment for each other.
We were together for over a year now..

[woods]

[quote=sentient7;31484]Thanks Woods, i think i am a decent person but i cant think about the idea of anyone else especially while there is still hope for us...
I know how i must be sounding, its hard , i'm in a state.
I can look at myself subjectively and see that and yet still not be able to conatin it.

The worst part of my predicament is the fact that i pushed him away, i told him to go because he is married.
But as soon as i did, i missed him and oh jesus the pain.
I never doubted my love for him i just wasn't sure that he would stay, i was scared , lots of things..

You know how you say you're still in love with your wife.
Thats what it's like with me and my love!
We never lost the pasison, the excitment for each other.
We were together for over a year now..[/quote

I can only say that I think you did the right thing. Personally. for me, I figure that he must have loved his wife at some time too, maybe he still does. But if he can cheat on his wife, betray that sacred trust, what sort of a person does that make him? No, regardless of the fact that I believe one can love more than one person at the same time, I believe there is a moral reason for remaining faithful to one person. He has a choice, you or his wife. If he can't leave his wife and marry you, then you did the right thing.
I know, this does not help, but I think it is time to take controle, at least for the kids if not for yourself and move on. You deserve better.
Regards, Woods.