Hi from a newie

[NewieKay]

Hi there

Just joined this site and very grateful to have found it.

I am just wondering if anyone can relate? - Having suffered from depression from age 5, I kept it at bay by travelling, distractions. As I have basically been running most of my life , have never really built up a life for myself. I am currently staying with parents - no job, friendships, NO money, no career and in the worse case of depression. Anyone else in this vicious circle of not being able to build up a life, or even make a start but feeling that this adds to the depression?

I, two months ago had a spiritual awakening - so I could clearly see the world and myself with clarity and all the low self image, esteem was nonesense. However I am back in the hell, with occasional glimpses of heaven! which makes the hell even worse! There is now depersonalisation and a lot of disorientation due to this. Has anyone had an experience like this? I know I am not alone but I still cant find a teacher to guide me through this.

Sorry for the rant but its just one of those days :/

Love
Kay

[Christyle]

I know what you mean. You reach the point at which just coping isn't enough. I'm not feeling all that well myself, so forgive me if I'm not all that helpful at the moment... but I'm a 20 something mooching off my sister and shuffling part-time jobs while going to school. I want to think that I have a direction in life, but I'm not really sure. I seem to drift from one thing to the next because I am still "just surviving" through my depression. I have found counseling to be really a great thing, because I am starting to learn why I have so much trouble communicating with people (which in reality equals no friends, totally know what you mean) and why I seem to ahve no real career/life goals/direction (haven't figured this out entirely but I'm putting pieces together).
Do you have someone to talk to about what you're going through? The more isolated you are, the worse it s to cope with...