errr.

[aenima]

Hello, I really am not the kind of a person who relates her thoughts but I don't know what made me sign up here. I just hope it helps. I am currently a law student and teach literature part time. Very strong on the outside but the inside feels very shattered.

[Danni_jane]

Hi there..
My name is Danielle I have bipolar and it is a horrible thing to have depression in general is a horrible thing to have. I have found comfort in this website as I can post my feelings and thoughts to people who I know will not judge me and will understand how I feel. You will find that many people try and be strong on the outside but deep down they are a bit of a mess but wont always admit it. I would love to study Law and I know that it is a hard subject I dont think that I could cope. Even if you dont want to talk about how you are feeling just yet then thats fine. We could just talk about general things and try to put a smile on our faces! You never know it may work!

I here if you want to talk

[aenima]

Hello Danielle,

Law is a difficult subject, part reason why I took it up, makes me not think about and deal with a lot of things. I have my exams coming up in a months' time and my depression is worst than ever, I am currently on citalopram, I have stopped taking my sleep meds but none of these things are actually working for me. Therefore whatever wee bit of diversion studying was to me is slowly but surely drifiting away and depressing me more as my exams are drawing closer and closer. I still don't think I am up to discussing the core issues to my depression.
What is it that you do then?
Hope you are well.
Cheers

[Danni_jane]

Ok I understand that you may not want to relate just yet the core issues of your depression. But you have exams approaching very soon and I sense that you are worried. Go to your doctor and say to him that your current medication isnt working and you are very worried about your exams he might be able to give you something to help with the anxiety. The medication you are on I have been on it and it didnt do me any wonders either. But you will proberly make endless trips to the doctor to find the right medication for you, it will take time to get into your system and you may experience side effects but if you want to get better you amy have to go through the worst of it. We on the forum are here to support you we will not turn against you. Get yourself sorted and you will fly through those exams and a big ton will have been lifted off your shoulders


Good luck and keep us posted

[aenima]

I thought after my exams I would feel lighter in a manner of saying, but I still don't today was the lowest day for me, felt very feeble and ghostly almost. I don't know why I am so depressed. I am expecting my results after the 20th of this month. I just feel non existent. It's hard to describe the feeling as anything. I have zero energy, I pulled through an internship but quit due to this. I can't figure what the issue triggering this is. I am trying to relax as much as I can. All to no avail. Post exams I stopped taking citalopram. Should I start that again? I haven't seen my psychiatrist to see if I need anything. Don't want to depend on medications too much.
Any suggesstions?

[Danni_jane]

I imagine that waiting for the results of your exams is also playing on your mind.. I felt exactly the same when I was waiting for my GCSEs. You say you are on anti depressants how much is the dose? If you have been taking them for a few months you may be addicted but you wont realise that until you suddenly stop taking them and then you feel bloody awful. Thats widthdrawl symptoms relate it to a drug addict who doesnt get their fix. Yes you are proberly thinking that they notice the widthdrawl symtpoms within hours. But with antidepressants it can take just a few days. But I dont know how long you have been taking them for. If you havent taken them for a few weeks and you suddenly start taking them you may notice that your side effects of taking the tablets you may have first got when hey first started to get into your system. Can you make an appointment to see your specialist? (thats what I call them) Do you require your medication to sleep? Have you been trying to harm yourself? This may seem daunting but the 20th isnt that far away but to you that may seem like its going to take forever. I understand that you may not have any energy or have any motivation. I know the feeling I have suddenly come off my tablets and I do feel rotten but I have to wait at least 6 weeks to see my specialist. Hope it all goes well

[aenima]

I stopped taking my medication starting April. I have been taking 40 -60 mg of citalopram per day. I just took my medication again last night, but again my sleep is always been very disturbed save for when I take my migrane meds which completely knock me out for a good few hours. I don't know if its anticipation of the results or something else. I can pinpoint it to any one thing. This morning again I am in the same feeble ghost like state, it's hard to describe it. I can't see my psychiatrist for another 3 weeks, she's out of the country and I don't feel comfortable with any other. I don't think its a withdrawl, I am starting again, if it can help me a little.
I did also take propanlol or something for anxiety earlier this year though.

[Danni_jane]

As you have stopped taking your medication I imgaine that you may be feeling more depressed as thats what the tablets are designed for to help lift depression. I have noticed that I have been getting more depressed since I have stopped taking them. I would wait until you get your results and see if anxiety easies. I would give it a few days after hoping that you might feel slightly better. I would stick to your therapist if your are comfortable with her. I would keep a diary of how you are feeling and then show it to her when you can see her again. Personally if you want to take your medication again and see if it works then I would start. But it is really up to you. Its your body you should listen to it