sentient7
Member

Today is not a better day.
I almost thought i was on a roll. Not so...
... the nightmare rides on.

I understand how you feel KB. I feel like my own worst enemy. I feel no good and worthless and if other pople don't let me down, rest assured i will .
Feels like nothing ever works out for me. I was going to say that i feel alone, but no. I am alone. I feel i deserve it. I am right now trying to climatise to this realisation. To know that i have put myself in this place and to realise the intentions of others. Some people care but no one stays.
I honestly wish i was never born. I wish i could kill myself. Can't even do that. I have kids, i have to stick around for them which in a way is worse. I have no money. Some days we struggle to eat. Life is hell.

Today is my bad day.

I am ugly.
I am poor.
My mohter hates me.
My father doesn't want to know me at all.
I have dependant children. I'm not so great.
I am hurting.
I am damaged.
I am a lost cause.
I am better off dead.
I am a waste of space.
I have no will to live, i exist.
I slip out into space where everyone is a stranger.

I feel stupid, I am wihout nothing. I am haunted by things I can not see and sometimes do not hardly remember. I am overwhelmed with self inadequacies and find myself comparing myself to those I love and create enormous amounts of jealousy and envy. I need more people or places to talk to and then refuse to talk when I find them. I feel I am self absorbed and do not want to burden others, I do not want to share my misery or spread my depression. Today is a bad day.

Hi kribabi, how's things?

I'm up shite creek without a paddle..
I'm one to dispense with the rules of polite society whenever possible so if i ask you how you are i really wanna know and i will do the same- i guess thats one of the benefits of internet communication people can be more open.
Well, ok i still say fine to the cashiers that say hey how are you but you know..theres so much of that in the world. It all feels so empty sometimes..

I miss my love :( that's my big reason for searching for solace on this website, i don't hold hope of finding it but i'm hoping for a distraction from the pain.
I am trying to be strong because i hope he will come back to me and i no longer care how nuts or foolish it sounds to the people in my life. You can't fight love you have to go with it. I hope it ends well. But i'm bracing myself for losing him completely. Ha! As if it will hurt any less if i do, so stupid :(

hello....