from my personal notes:Tue Nov 2, 2004 7:32 pmHotdog night "August 17, 1999 I drove Lindsay with the entire family, including mymother to [private] Psychiatric hospital in [city], washington."Just relax" the dentist said to me, "I am sorry to hear about yourdaughter, I have been there, my mom was in [that same hospital] when I was12.Imagine being 12 and having to be the kid whose mom was in[same hospital].""It's ok Lindsay, hey look these hotdogs arent so bad", I looked around, and there were other families trying to make it all sound normal, some were there without families, Lindsay was the one withthe most relatives there, and her 5th grade camp teacher Mrs,[name]came to see her.Her eyes rolled up and she shook so bad, she was white as a ghost,and we laid towels on her head,We taped pictures and banners and cards and love you notes all overher walls.I still have towels with LN on the tag."~Tue Sep 20, 2005 9:30 pm"The next day I realized what had happened, that from 3-11pm she was being removed from our custody into the hands of the doctors and the hosp so that the bill would be paid by the State.I had a Superior court order in my hands ordering to appear against her the Tuesday after Labor Day weekend,and only if she signed the papers at the hosp on her own, wanting treatment 14 days at a time, would I not be arrested for not showing up to my court date.How did this happen? what has happened to my life,to my family to my child!? She is incoherent and delusional, the doctors have trialed 6 medications without my consent of course, and now have backtracked,hearing my pleas that she reacts to certain medications, not that I am in dire need of control, just giving solid input they should heed.She lost 20 pounds and has no plan in place for a return home.She is what they call ITA. Involuntary admit. This is how they get them there to remain as long as they can and have the state pay for it.No one explained that to me."~Wed Sep 21, 2005 9:35 pm"clearly am still very guarded on how much I do so I can get caught up on my exhaustion.I have worked this week in "recess duty" and health room duty, tomorrow as well. I have not worked in spec ed on purpose, too draining with a child who is well, and awful with a sick one. So Im at least working,this week, school started the 7th and I had a super good job lined up for all year at my previous school, but had a breakdown 45 min beforework, shaking and crying."~Maintain Dignity, Health InsuranceMon Sep 26, 2005 2:23 pm"Something needs to change in this country, we should be able to treat our mental health the same as any other part of our body, and not suffer financially or emotionally to get help for our children. The pain of seeing her being taken away by mandatory ambulance and strapped down, on a stretcher "due to being involuntary" will remain with me for my lifetime, and what about her memory?I also would like to see a sign at the exit of the hospital that says "Caregivers--turn right"and find a place to get some couseling, a cup of tea, and some dignity restored before getting back on the road with my paper work and broken heart."~Tom Cruise and other ignorant peopleThu Sep 29, 2005 2:08 pm"She has been in the hospital now for 7 weeks, and has not improved. I hope she never meets a person like Tom Cruise.(or "doctor Phil)."~ (Source: soulful sepulcher)

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