The feeling threatens to consume me whole; rising within and around me like a wall of black shadows, promising to deliver me from the hopeless despair it feeds upon. Hissing in fury it rises to show a forked tongue coated in poison, whispering lies of truth that each day become less false and more factual, until the lies themselves replace the realities they were born from. So, as the realities fade into dust, the lies that have waited like a dormant monster start to stir, fuelled by the need to devour my very being. Its presences flows through my body with stealth and patience, so that each time it strikes it does so with surprising ferocity; like a tsunami that grows from the calm of the sea before destroying everything in its path without remorse. The relentless onslaughts are mostly unexpected and completely debilitating; hammering at my conscious like a caged animal, slowly exposing cracks in the barrier between sense and no sense. Most of the time awareness is enough to keep the torrent at bay long enough to find my way back to the surface. Sometimes it isn't. The more i get lost, the harder it is to find my way back. Im just sitting, waiting for the scales to tip.