I never found:

Endless repertoire remained evermore
Dreamed by the endless broken caw

Crimson bled the sky's red heart
Fallen autumn leaves would dance in depart

Once more, there had been nothing more
But the silent listeners of dreary lore

Blindly I had stumbled forlorn emptiness
Nothing remained but memoirs of gentleness

Within had sat the gracing demon
Their envious eyes preyed the freemen

There they would remain as did I breath
Stalking silently till each dawning eve

So long as I crawled the silent forever
Would I be seated to face the never

I searched once more for my sanctuary
All had been found was closer obituary

The cogs meshed once more forevermore
The last time, I saw the number four.


I had seldom expressed my feelings, so this was rather difficult task for me, and of course the poem had been expressed as a result in a rather ambiguous manner, I apologize for this, as I had came across depressions' path, the very few types that would overwhelm one and cause one to be silent, unable to express in coherent words.

hi there...
Think about what would be more useful to believe. Take up a new hobby or interest, like learning a foreign language, or playing chess. When you do this you will be exercising one of the most important muscles in your body - your brain, and it has been shown in lots of research that when you exercise your brain regularly, the effects pay off throughout your whole life.
Good Luck...

Expressing your feelings may be hard, but it really does help. Asking for help is not a sign of weakness, it's actuaaly a sign of strength, because it shows you are human and can admit when you need help.